Stop The Hate

     When I was deciding what I should write in this blog I came to a wall. Something that many writers and artists come to once in a while. A block tends to linger for whatever the reason is. Some people say it is simply because our minds get tired. Others may agree that maybe inspiration just didn’t thrive them enough to express them selves. For me, it was because I had nothing to say.

     Then I turned on the TV. Began listening to friend’s stories that shared their recent events. I watched a clip on bullying, suicide, and listened to sorrow coming from places that should never be felt again. The hatred of those that prey on men, women, and children alike because of being Who They Are. This is a touchy subject for me, because I have been through the same hatred. Not because I was causing any form of dilemma for anyone, but simply because of being gay.

 I am older now and my situations dealing with ill minded people have mostly deceased, but hearing that this heartache still has to be experienced baffles me. Today should be so much different. It should be filled with more self-awareness and respect not hate. We are not in the stone ages of knowledge. We are in an Era where almost every truth of our history is recorded and is able to be seen right at our fingertips if we chose to search. And by this gift those that were once ignorant would be able to find solitude and remember that even their own people were in the line of prejudice. I would hope that in doing so they would come to realize that their injustice should never be repeated onto another, because that is not the way.

    We live in a melting pot of culture and religion. We are lucky enough to walk out our doors and speak with confidence, why choose to go back steps. History has proven that these attacks will be overturned because deep inside we all know that they are wrong. But you have to open your eyes now. Have to change the idea of love that some still hold as a truth.
     It doesn't matter if you are Christian, Muslim, Catholic, Islamic, Hindu, Atheist, or of any other affiliation you connect with, you do not have the right to attack someone because of who they choose to love. That is beyond the power of judgment. Especially ours.We are here to LOVE. As corny as that may sound to some. We are here to live, to love, and to find our way back to love if we get off track. I am not a preacher nor am I someone who claims to know everything, but I do know this. I have understood this since I was a little kid, and I know everyone of you knows this too.

    If you are reading this blog and come to find that you disagree with what I am saying then do me a favor. Remember. Go to your memories; go to when you were just a little kid, before anyone started to fill your mind with their knowledge and opinion. When the sound of your heart was stronger than that of only your mind. Did you judge with negativity? Did you try to make others feel inferior? Did you try to use hatred for things you didn’t comprehend? Or were you just curious of everything. Asking every question that your mind and heart could come up with. Trying just to be happy and share that happiness with others. With everyone. With full acceptance of who they are. With out a care from those who may just not understand.

                                           

                              What Changed? 

One More Smile

Driving never seemed so sweet

Passing stop signs and red cautioned tape,

But your smile is all I need

When my head spins round and round

Nothing but floating words graze my view

Persisting at every chance

Although never over baring;

Focused and kindled, but never crowded

All I need is a smile

Then the world turns upside down

Waking up, Laying down

Puts my heart at ease

As you let my mind wander,

Is this different?

It doesn’t matter

Cause all that is becomes simple

No need to press,

No need to rush

Just a kiss to fit the pieces.

Ever changing is this constant

Missing every test for good fortune

Just a Love that is noted with passion

Just a Love that is growing.

Distant from any unknowing banter

He spreads out his wings like armor

Pushing away any misleading hatred,

As my lips continuously stay in motion.

Questions begin to spring

Jumping and prancing as flowers in Spring Time

Calming it is with every answer you give

Sincerity is ever flowing;

Into kindness that surprises me

Into understanding you put me in ponder

Through an uncharted journey

That draws me upward,

Endlessly bringing freedom into possibilities.

Uncharted I repeat!

Uncharted I repent.

But without fear you carry my imperfections

Without greed you decide to still kiss me

Without judgment, you smile back;

And all I can be is with you

Who only needed mine in return.

So I say, So I am

A smile that will give

A smile that I need;

Because a smile is all I ever wanted.

Nicilija Macklis

W/O A PHONE AND INTRO

I thought it would have been difficult and out of the ordinary being without a phone for the last week. Sounds strange, I know, but if you knew my life you would understand that "ME" without one- DOESN"T MAKE SENSE. I am part of the VVV Group as well as a company called "Bungalow 118". There will be a much further description later, but for now lets just talk a little about "VVV Group". The Leaders of the group are Jose Ledesma, Laura Lopez, Munee Duran, and Myself. We just did our first Charity event for the "Flower Child Foundation" for "Fashion with a Cause". It was  success in its own right. What I mean by that is it was a great hit in "PRESS" but not in Profits- for the Charity. You know things happen, they always do, and they always will. It depends on the person on which way they take it. Ya I could be crying about it, and believe me I did a little, =), but I was happy that the Charity and the "VVV Group" got exposure. And Did I tell you I did all this without a phone. lol. It's impressive how life decides to be FUNNY when "SHE or HE" decides to test you even when you don't feel like being tested. lol.. What can I say " All you can do is giggle inside, and say 'HEY WHAT THE FUCK,' then move on."

A short intro about myself. I live around Hollywood,  and my name is Nicholas Guerra (Nicilija). My acting name is "Nicolas Guerra", old friends call me "Nick," new friends call me "Nico, " and my writer's name is  "Nicilija". There is a long pressing story about how I created that name, because believe me it wasn't that easy. It took years, new experiences, and fazes to understand the strength behind this name. I promise I will talk about it later. I am a struggling actor,singer, model, Poet, as well as a few other things that I will explain in detail as we get to know each other. A short portion of the extra is , I am a gay male, whoop whoop,- "YES ANOTHER GAY BLOGGER", lol...but the interesting thing is I was planning on being a priest right before I graduated High School at "Alemany High School". I came out when I was 18yrs old in 2005, things didn't quite go as I wanted them to and ended up here. "In the Fashion and Entertainment Business. My whole goal for this "BLOGGING THING", is simply- I am going to write - THE TRUTH- the dirt, the needy greedy, the shit that probably other people would be to scared to talk about. Hey I have nothing else to loose, and I try to be as honest as I can in my life, so why not here with you. I am not going to have any format, sometimes my spelling could be wrong, and grammar will be a "HOOT", but honestly  "I DON'T GIVE A SHIT." lol. I'm going to talk about my philosophies, my life, my relationships sometimes, sometimes I will write in metaphor, most of the time I will tell it straight, I 'll talk about my business and the advice I can give to you from someone that is in the "HOT SPOT OF THE DAMN THING', and everything else in  between. But for now there it is, take it how you like, and I will be blogging about the next topic "VERY VERY SOON'. Have a great one. Hasta