It Has Been Too Long...

     So here we are again. Another moment of truth, and another moment to just let go. I have painfully had the urge to write day after day for the past couple months, but decided to stay away for my own sanity or what seems to be a better word “Focus.” I have a tendency to switch those words around depending on what moment in time my heart is in. See, so much has been happening, mostly amazing opportunities, but sometimes just “Shit.” But it is all “OK”, because I will always be one of those people who understands that EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON and someone who finds himself DRIFTING OFF INTO THE CLOUDS ON A CONSTANT BASES. I am not really going to go through every detail of the bad, because there really isn’t any point. And if you are saying “YES THERE IS A POINT! FOR ENTERTAINMENT VALUE,” then you are really looking at the wrong entry for today. LOL… For those details you can check out my Twitter account at http://twitter.com/Nicilija . No my good people, today is just for me, no snazzy back lash comment, no funny come backs, just free write. So I apologize now for all the wrong usage of my commas and periods. And for starting my sentences with words like “And” and “But.”

         Right now I am sitting in my room, desperately waiting for the sun to go down. All I really want to do is run. My destination, “ I HAVE NO CLUE,” That has been pretty much my freedom lately. Just putting on my black running shoes and running gear before heading out in a direction that feels right. It is my new obsession that I was able to regain after so many years. It helped me to not only loose 45 pounds, but it also gave me the strength to quit smoking, stop partying all the time, calm myself from worrying about relationships, and I guess grow up into the person that I lost along the way.  It is my “Anti-Crack” LOL.

      Right now I am also surrounded by gym equipment, because when God gave my family this new house he , or she ;), thought it would be funny to fit a 6.3 foot young man in a room that was meant for a 5 year old Asian girl.  If you walked into my room you would also think I was pretty much a crazy person, because you will find “NO T.V. , NO STEREO, AND NO COMPUTER OF ANY KIND.”  Besides a lab top I decided to use today. All my mirrors are covered with quotes I wrote, as well as inspirational phrases said by legendary artists like “Maya Angelou” and um (clears throat)… “Usher”. LOL…. My mom told me that psychologists call that “usage of positive thinking” while I call it “ FINALLY USING MY WORDS TO INSPIRE ME RATHER THEN JUST ALWAYS TRYING TO INSPIRE OTHERS.”

     As much as it is obviously a small ass room, it definitely describes me. The walls are patterned “BY MY OWN HANDS” with several shades of blue, while black and white photos of foreign affairs are hung on equal points of the room. I sleep on a photon rather then a bed, because ever since I moved back home, it just didn’t seem right any more. I have no T.V. or Stereo, because I like the pleasure of having a space that is simpler and untraditionally calmer than the others. My yoga mat, guitar, and mic are at my left, while books are to my right. The same books that have been getting very dusty between the pages from a lack of use. Candles are really everywhere, lol, so there is no point to describe the specific points. I do share my room with my little one. NO NOT A CHILD!... lol…but my little cat, as my dog is made to stay outside.

      Last but not least, the two things that probably describes me most, but at times becomes the most confusing. The Section where I keep artifacts from different countries and a closet filled with my wardrobe. Most of my friends get very confused when they are trying to describe who I am to people, so I usually tell them to give up. I love “Fashion” so I do have some labels, because of the fit and style that it allows me to express, while the other half is simply “Ts” and jeans. As for my artifacts, well “I LOVE DIFFERENT CULTURES AND RELIGIONS.” I was raised around enough of them, so it was bound to rub off on me. I apologize for this rant, because I just realized I pretty much wrote an entire blog describing my room. LOL…. If you took the time to read this, “Thank You”, and to read articles I actually thought more about, you can check out my past blogs. I hope everyone has a wonderful night, because it is finally time to run. Yay!!....

Ciao

Nico