Friday, March 13, 2015

Dominants Aren't Everything

        In today’s society, I would like to believe that our social locations such as gender, sexual orientation, economic class, and nationality would not put us in a different category of power. Sadly it still does. I am lucky for all the good and bad in my life in regards to my dominant and non dominant positions, because either way all these experiences have made me the strong individual that I am today. My dominating position of being a light complexioned latino with european features have in some ways made my life easier. On the other end, my non dominating positions of being a gay latin male who fluctuates in weight has burdened me in many ways as well.
Being a light complected latin male has helped me in this male european driven society because of my outer appearance. The mix of my Scottish blood and Mexican blood have physicalized me to fit into the Caucasian mold but also differently enough to be unique. Here we see being complaint and  the usage of empowerment at the same time. Weirdly, my mix of cultures have popped out an individual who looks conformed enough (complaint) to be acceptable and different enough to be wanted more in jobs than my other dark complexioned latin family. I have never accepted this discrimination, but it is something that does exist. I have brown eyes, very light complexioned skin, greek curls, a height of 6’2, and masculine features. We are living in a very superficial world, so without any help my genetics have placed me as one of the most desired and powerful positions of the Western Culture. 
When I modeled and acted for a living my look was very much wanted when my weight was at bay. My opportunities for runway shows, print jobs, and auditions for shows like The Vampire Diaries and Super Natural were fluid enough to keep me coming back. I am also a human who’s weight fluctuates like many people. This is not a good thing for the modeling world or acting world specifically when your “Type” is the Lead who is supposed be fit, tall, Caucasian, and masculine. I was always told that my weight had to always be in check. They never pushed how, but lets just say that the finger down the throat was seen often but never spoken about. My weight was always an issue for me, so when I was thin jobs came soaring in, but when my weight was out of control the jobs always slowed way down. The entertainment industry has always put this harsh and fake facade on the world. It pretends to equally represent the population through its diverse cast, but in truth it cages most people because it only represents about 1 percent of its audience. 
The majority of top shows are filled with starving models and actors who are the light complexioned versions of their own cultures. This is not diverse yet we all fall into the producers hands who are banking on our desire to be these fictional characters. Think about it. One major reason why they keep this facade is because they know that most people will never be these people. Shows on the CW pick actors who can be idolized, desired, those looks that can sell a product, and those actors that can be attached to other products like make up campaigns so executive producers have another avenue to make more money on the misrepresented audience. 
Another non dominating factor is my Mexican heritage. I have discussed my light complexioned skin as a positive in the Western European driven world, but in my own community it is sometimes frowned upon. I am very knowledgeable about my culture yet my inability to understand and speak the language places me at the bottom of the acceptance list. I have always been judged by my own community, have been told that I am ‘White Washed,” a gringo, and that I am not Mexican enough based on my skin complexion and english speaking mouth. When I was younger this hurt me all the time. I even went to lengths to teach my self Spanish, put my self in classes to learn Spanish, and have my own family test me at home everyday for months. The problem here is that there are so many versions of Spanish, so in the end I was still being tormented because my Spanish was not correct. These days I really don't care, because those ignorant people are always going to be out there, but this is definitely another non dominant in my own culture.
My last non dominant position is to me both a dominant and a non dominant. My sexual orientation has always either been fully accepted or hated depending on my positioning in Los Angeles and depending on who I spent my time with. When I lived in Santa Clarita (where the Caucasian culture is very dominant), I was very active in my Churches. I sang with them for about a year after I was with this church for about 3 years before that. For the longest time I felt like I needed to keep my sexual orientation quiet, because that is what I was taught in the Catholic religion and in my twelve years of experience going to a Catholic school. 
After working with the band for about a year I decided to relax a little and invite some band mates to the Abbey which is a gay restaurant and club in West Hollywood. Now let me scene set this for a second. As a performer on stage I would get letters and complements from many members saying they loved that I actually moved on stage. They loved that I was very personable off as well. I was being prepped to be a lead singer for this band, but after I invited the wrong people to West Hollywood my Music Director (an ignorant wannabe Christian woman) asked me to step down through an email. Never really gave any reason (even though I pushed to know why), but after that moment I never went to that Church again. I knew why. 
A year later I actually got together with another band mate who turned out to be a lesbian. She was best friends with this musical director. We sat and had coffee while she expressed to me that her best friend told her to step down because she was gay. At this time, I was young and still just coming out of the closet so I didn't fight. Luckily she stepped down a couple years later, and the Church (from what I heard) started having services focusing on the acceptance of the LGBTQ community. The is a very hard place to change because they are so wrapped up in the old and dated philosophies. Yes many basics like love your neighbor, the gold means, and golden rules all are great things to live by, but obviously some people decide for themselves when these teachings should be applied or not. 
There is always going to be ignorant people and depending on your geographical position we will see more or less of these stubborn and stuck in their ways kind of people.  These days I have been interviewing with different LBGTQ non profits and organizations. Many of them are ironically in West Hollywood where the freedom of sexual orientation is celebrated. In this area the non dominant position becomes the dominant, because the majority are either gay themselves or supporters of gay rights. I become the dominant position in my interviews, because these jobs are looking for people with experience with LGBTQ rights, individuality, and people who can relate to youth of today who may be gay or not. I become the dominant position because the people in power here are also part of non dominant positions. 
Dominating and non dominating positions are factored by the surrounding population. If the people in power believe that their gender or race is superior then they have a spoken or unspoken say in that matter. I say unspoken because many times today discriminations like racism, sexism, and discrimination against sexual orientation are not expressed out loud in business. If a business owner gave that information to the applicant then they could be sued. These days a lot of discrimination is unspoken because they are trying to save their own butts. 
Rather or not one is seen in the dominant or non dominant positions they still have the power to over come it all.They do not need to conform everything they are to meet standards that evolve everyday. My experience tells me that it doesn't matter what position society tries to fit you in. You get to decide that for yourself. It may be more difficult because of the ignorance of people in power, but by being the non dominant it makes you more aware of what is going on. In my life it has made me stronger. In my life it has taught me to have a wider observational set. In my life it has shown me that the dominant and non dominant of a culture will always change depending on the people in power. Since people in power are all different depending on the job you are trying to take there is no need to fear conformity. The fact is that more people of the non dominant positions are grabbing power, so allowing your individuality and uniqueness to be expressed is a smart thing to do. Just be yourself and everything will fall into place.