Dating Vs. Relationships

     What would you rather have sitting at your dinner table? Someone who is good at dating or someone who is great in a relationship? Personally, I would rather have someone who is great in a relationship, but I guess the majority of us will never find that out. You know as well as I do that the majority of the time when a bad date comes along the phrase “Let’s Just be Friends” is usually stated shortly after. Which could also be code for, “Yea we are probably never going to see each other again, but it would be a little awkward if I just got up and left.”  I mean, that is what dating is for, right? To tell us how this connection might turn out in the future. Therefore we go on these “Dates” to see if that person across from us is a match, or even interesting enough to pass to the next stage.  And we all know that usually by the second date we know for sure if it is a dead end, or if there might be something special worth keeping. If not, then “Sayonara!” No hard feelings, because nothing really even started. But what if this formula is wrong.What if the whole time this person across from you was dead on perfect for you, but you denied the future meets because of technicalities. The imperfections of asking a question way to soon, or even the surpassing of getting a late night text from this person you barely know. I’ve been there. On both sides of the court, and when it came to saying the friend part I was just as blinded. I’m not saying to continue if there isn’t a spark, but rather give the person a chance if there is. 

     I know it is hard to believe, but dating is really a game. (That is why I usually suggest the phrasing of "hanging out" the first couple times so expectations do not get in the way of the meet.) You can be as honest as possible, but still you are going to have those annoying voices in the back of your mind telling you what not to say. And then the basic question list: Where are you from? What are some of your interests? Do you have family? Do you work? Do you go to school? Tell me about yourself? Of course these are all important, but think about it. We ask not only because we are interested, but also at some point we were told or somehow we were influenced to believe this is how it works. Someone told us to watch what we say on the first date, and what to leave till the third.  Have you ever thought maybe this MEMO wasn’t given to the person you’re meeting at this very moment?  Maybe they are just trying to figure it out all on their own. See, that is when I realized dating casualties should be spared. Especially when I understood that “Dates” are like auditions and relationships are equivalent to getting the role. As weird as it sounds it’s quite the same process. You are trying to make a great first impression while still giving enough so it is not fake or boring. Some people are good at auditions and others are not. That is why there are “Audition Technique Classes.” This still does not mean the actor is not good for the part, but either way the outcome of the situation is going to result in a Call Back or the classic humored response of “Thank you for coming in, don’t call us we’ll call you.”  Obviously, it is not always going to be said this way, but you get the picture.

     Now the “Gut Feeling” is another story. We all get the feeling of how the date is going. We even tend to get that special intuition before the meet happens, but emotions of excitement for the date and the regular day ritual usually clouds our judgments. I have often gone to the date thinking it was mostly nerves, but have learned by trial and error. I am also six-two and usually plan my first dates in public, so the odds of anything happening to me are very slim. (Crossing my Fingers) It can be very tricky to realize if it is nerves or a message sent from above, but that is why it is good to put yourself in a surrounding where you can see your exits at all times. I’M NOT KIDDING) I am not saying something is going to happen, but having those cards in your deck tend to make you relax a little bit more.

     When it comes down to it dating is different for everyone. Depending on your own interests and agenda, a date is an amazing thing. It could be a moment for you to just get out and meet someone new or it could be a special realization with a friend you have known for a long time. Coming from someone that has never been taught those rules, you can probably guess the position I have, but notwithstanding it is just a date.Both sides shouldn’t take it so seriously and should just be themselves without all the annoy habit of course. It is a time to find a connection and it is a time to learn a little bit more about one’s self. Never forget dating needs and has two people, so before wiping your hands clean from the person in front of you, put yourself in their shoes!


Ciao for now
Nico