Texting is for Bitches!

Have you ever Found yourself falling in love with that Hunk of a man ( or woman-wink wink…) who seemed irresistible behind the power of a Key Pad, but ended up being a complete FUCK in person? Did you find yourself drooling after every "OMG!,LMFAO!,C U 2MORO QT<3" and discover another sleepless night after the all knowing smiley faces from hell < =), ;). J , :), :P, :* … >. In the end, have you ever wondered why those AKA “TEXTING RELATIONSHIPS” have always seemed to go south (not in a good way) rather it was all butterfly kisses and hugs,

 or “WHAT ARE YOU WEARING TONIGHT,” long conversations?  Well, I have the answer for you. It’s quite simple really. Are you ready? YOU’RE A COMPLETE DUMB ASS!!! There is really no easier way to say it, unless I shortened it up a little, and to be honest I don’t wanna.  So you are just going to have to be happy with that.

      Look I’m all for the texting when it comes to being productive, or just texting to say hi when you can’t talk on the phone, or even when you’re so bored that the next best thing is to text just to annoy the HUMONGOUS BLUE BALLS out of somebody, but come on enough is enough. In truth, I have fallen prey to this adolescent behavior once in a far off time…..OK Last week, but that’s besides the point!!!! It was someone that I thought could…you know what, before I find myself going off on another tangent lets just say that HE DIED CAUSE HIS PENIS FELL OFF from leaving it too long in the doors with the little holes in it. Yes I said little.

      Any who, Gays, Straights, Ladies, and Drag-Queens-a-like, it is time to ring up the towel and go back to actual verbal conversations. PLEASEEEEE>>>>> Texting is definitely reliable, cute, and sometimes touching, but if the relationship is based more on a relationship with your phone other than the real thing, then it is never going work. SORRY! Let me let you in on a little secret that one of my best friends told me. If they are having trouble meeting up casually, then that means either “THEY ARE NOT INTERESTED, JUST WANT SOME ASS, THEY CAN’T COME TO THE PHONE CAUSE THEY ARE GETTING SOME ASS, OR JUST NOT READY FOR SOMETHING MORE SERIOUS.” I am not outweighing the chance of that someone being actually busy, but “HEY IT’S LA, AND FOR THE MOST PART IT IS PROBABLY BECAUSE THEY HAVE SOMETHING TO HIDE.” So stop with the high school drama, stop worrying what could actually happen if you drop the full on texting machine, and give yourself a chance to impress in real life. That is definitely the only way for anything to be certain, because come on “TEXTING IS FOR BITCHES” and think about it, if you say everything through your Key Pad, then there would be nothing left to say in person.